After the stress of the exam today, I needed a good laugh. Boy did I get one. Calling Santa is not just for kids anymore. If you want a good chuckle (and have a good sense of humor), just give 813-273-8160 a ring. Don’t press any buttons. Just listen. This is NOT for kids!

Thanks Sam for the laugh!!

‘Mathlete’ smashes human calculation record: museum

Tue Dec 11, 12:21 PM ET

The world’s fastest human calculator on Tuesday broke his own record for working out a 200-digit number using nothing but brain power to produce the answer in just over 70 seconds.

Alexis Lemaire, a 27-year-old Frenchman, correctly calculated the 13th root of a random 200-digit number from a possible 393 trillion answers.

The so-called ‘mathlete’ produced the answer of 2,407,899,893,032,210 in 70.2 seconds, beating his previous record of 72.4 seconds, at London’s Science Museum.

A computer was used to produce a random 200-digit number before he sat down to calculate the answer in his head.

The museum’s curator of mathematics, Jane Wess, said: “He sat down and it was all very quiet — and all of a sudden he amazingly just cracked it.

“I believe that it is the highest sum calculated mentally.

“He seems to have a large memory and he’s made this his life’s ambition. It’s quite remarkable to see it happen. A very small number of people have this extraordinary ability; nowadays there is only a handful.”

Lemaire, who attends the University of Reims in northern France, began demonstrating his prowess by finding the 13th root of a random 100-digit number but gave up trying to improve his performance when he calculated an answer in under four seconds in 2004.

Like an athlete, he trains his brain daily for the far harder task of finding the 13th root of 200-digit numbers.

From Craigslist

Knock knock

Oh hi, how’s it going? It’s me! Every girl ever. I’m really looking forward to this date. I’m not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let’s start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You’ll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There’s my decorative birdcage over there even though I don’t have a bird, and there’s my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don’t know what the hell that’s thing’s all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn’t it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That’s “Freddy Paws Jr.” Why don’t you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he’ll do that. Hey, let’s check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we’re really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we’re holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That’s to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don’t talk to any of these girls anymore because now they’re all bitches.

Let’s go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I’m going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don’t you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It’s like you’re sitting in a hug! Be right back…

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don’t know what the hell I was doing in there. Let’s go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I’m totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you’re a really good guy because that’s what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don’t need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I’ll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He’s a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let’s talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can’t believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don’t need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It’ll be great, it will be just like how we’re drinking here, only it will be louder and we’ll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn’t this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It’s a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let’s go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine’s so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I’m back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we’re going to do it again sometime! Maybe I’ll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that’s as empty as my soul. Good night!

Sometimes, I feel like I’m speaking an entirely different language when I talk about my actuarial exams!

FAP! FAP! FAP!

Well boys & girls! Today is “D-Day”. FAP 1 exam will begin in approximately 6 hours. Wish me luck!

See ya on the flip side!