BERLIN (AP) — A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.

The incident occurred at the Nuremberg airport on Tuesday, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a holiday in Egypt.

New airport rules prohibit passengers from carrying larger quantities of liquid onto planes, and he was told at a security check he would have to either throw out the bottle of vodka or pay a fee to have his carry-on bag checked as cargo.

Instead, he chugged the bottle down — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function, police said.

A doctor called to the scene determined he had possibly life-threatening alcohol poisoning, and he was sent to a Nuremberg clinic for treatment.

The man, whose name was not released, is expected to be able to complete his journey home in a few days.

(Copyright © 2007, The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

It’s out boys & girls - The Mitchell Report. It’s 409 pages, so I don’t exactly have time to read it right now, but feel free to peruse through it. I hope to get around to posting my thoughts in the next day or so…unless painting gets in the way!

Well, last night was the season finale of Kid Nation. What a letdown!

There were a few good things about the finale:

• Zach was awarded the last $20,000 gold star.
• They gave away 3 more gold stars (worth $50,000) each.
• It was the finale!

I must say, they did not fail to disappoint in the “I can’t believe they did that” category. The show started with the “job board” on fire and then the host burned the journal. This meant Bonanza City was without rules or leaders. So what do a bunch of 9-15 year old kids do in that case? Raid the candy store, of course! I was just speechless with exactly how crazy the kids went. A few level-headed kids prevailed and they did clean up the mess (and it was a BIG mess) the next day, but still. I’d like to think that MM would not have behaved that way, but kids do get caught up in the excitement of the moment, so I’m not sure. I do know I’d still be pretty upset with seeing her act that way.

Other than that…meh, it was nothing spectacular. There was a lot of sappiness after they surprised the kids by bringing their parents in. They showed the parents around town, had dinner together, and then presented the final three gold stars. A bunch of “blah blah blah” about how proud some parents were of their kids and the kids saying how much of a life changing event this has been, etc.

Well, at least there’s still The Biggest Loser finale next week to look forward to!

After the stress of the exam today, I needed a good laugh. Boy did I get one. Calling Santa is not just for kids anymore. If you want a good chuckle (and have a good sense of humor), just give 813-273-8160 a ring. Don’t press any buttons. Just listen. This is NOT for kids!

Thanks Sam for the laugh!!

‘Mathlete’ smashes human calculation record: museum

Tue Dec 11, 12:21 PM ET

The world’s fastest human calculator on Tuesday broke his own record for working out a 200-digit number using nothing but brain power to produce the answer in just over 70 seconds.

Alexis Lemaire, a 27-year-old Frenchman, correctly calculated the 13th root of a random 200-digit number from a possible 393 trillion answers.

The so-called ‘mathlete’ produced the answer of 2,407,899,893,032,210 in 70.2 seconds, beating his previous record of 72.4 seconds, at London’s Science Museum.

A computer was used to produce a random 200-digit number before he sat down to calculate the answer in his head.

The museum’s curator of mathematics, Jane Wess, said: “He sat down and it was all very quiet — and all of a sudden he amazingly just cracked it.

“I believe that it is the highest sum calculated mentally.

“He seems to have a large memory and he’s made this his life’s ambition. It’s quite remarkable to see it happen. A very small number of people have this extraordinary ability; nowadays there is only a handful.”

Lemaire, who attends the University of Reims in northern France, began demonstrating his prowess by finding the 13th root of a random 100-digit number but gave up trying to improve his performance when he calculated an answer in under four seconds in 2004.

Like an athlete, he trains his brain daily for the far harder task of finding the 13th root of 200-digit numbers.

From Craigslist

Knock knock

Oh hi, how’s it going? It’s me! Every girl ever. I’m really looking forward to this date. I’m not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let’s start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You’ll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There’s my decorative birdcage over there even though I don’t have a bird, and there’s my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don’t know what the hell that’s thing’s all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn’t it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That’s “Freddy Paws Jr.” Why don’t you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he’ll do that. Hey, let’s check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we’re really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we’re holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That’s to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don’t talk to any of these girls anymore because now they’re all bitches.

Let’s go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I’m going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don’t you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It’s like you’re sitting in a hug! Be right back…

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don’t know what the hell I was doing in there. Let’s go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I’m totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you’re a really good guy because that’s what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don’t need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I’ll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He’s a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let’s talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can’t believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don’t need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It’ll be great, it will be just like how we’re drinking here, only it will be louder and we’ll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn’t this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It’s a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let’s go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine’s so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I’m back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we’re going to do it again sometime! Maybe I’ll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that’s as empty as my soul. Good night!

Sometimes, I feel like I’m speaking an entirely different language when I talk about my actuarial exams!

FAP! FAP! FAP!

Well boys & girls! Today is “D-Day”. FAP 1 exam will begin in approximately 6 hours. Wish me luck!

See ya on the flip side!

One of my Girl Scouts made this video for a school project. Enjoy!

Time to spread more holiday cheer! Here is Straight No Chaser, Men’s A Cappella group from Indiana University. They perform a very unique (to me at least) version of everyone’s favorite, The 12 Days of Christmas. Maybe it’s my “Inner Urkey” rearing its ugly head again, but I find this so entertaining!

Thanks to my buddies over on the AO for pointing this one out!

With it being 80 degrees and all, it’s sometimes easy to forget that it is actually Christmastime here in Florida. In honor of my favorite holiday, here’s that famous letter, which has become a holiday staple. Enjoy!

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun in 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.