Life With Frenchie

Mark this day down in history boys & girls. Not only once, but twice in one day I was struck relatively speechless. Okay, maybe it’s more the fact that it’s almost 10:30 and I have a raging headache so just the thought of forming a coherent idea is causing my eyes to try to jump out of their sockets and run away! Any-who, one of my chorts on the AO was gracious enough to have posted this article. My mind’s still reeling from the ridiculousness (word??) of it. Enjoy!

Sweeping the Clouds Away
By VIRGINIA HEFFERNAN
Sunny days! The earliest episodes of “Sesame Street” are available on digital video! Break out some Keebler products, fire up the DVD player and prepare for the exquisite pleasure-pain of top-shelf nostalgia.

Just don’t bring the children. According to an earnest warning on Volumes 1 and 2, “Sesame Street: Old School” is adults-only: “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.”

Say what? At a recent all-ages home screening, a hush fell over the room. “What did they do to us?” asked one Gen-X mother of two, finally. The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscar’s depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didn’t exist.

Nothing in the children’s entertainment of today, candy-colored animation hopped up on computer tricks, can prepare young or old for this frightening glimpse of simpler times. Back then — as on the very first episode, which aired on PBS Nov. 10, 1969 — a pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was, he fed her milk and cookies. The milk looks dangerously whole.

Live-action cows also charge the 1969 screen — cows eating common grass, not grain improved with hormones. Cows are milked by plain old farmers, who use their unsanitary hands and fill one bucket at a time. Elsewhere, two brothers risk concussion while whaling on each other with allergenic feather pillows. Overweight layabouts, lacking touch-screen iPods and headphones, jockey for airtime with their deafening transistor radios. And one of those radios plays a late-’60s news report — something about a “senior American official” and “two billion in credit over the next five years” — that conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt and stagflation in the offing.

The old “Sesame Street” is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for softies born since 1998, when the chipper “Elmo’s World” started. Anyone who considers bull markets normal, extracurricular activities sacrosanct and New York a tidy, governable place — well, the original “Sesame Street” might hurt your feelings.

I asked Carol-Lynn Parente, the executive producer of “Sesame Street,” how exactly the first episodes were unsuitable for toddlers in 2007. She told me about Alistair Cookie and the parody “Monsterpiece Theater.” Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, “That modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.”

Which brought Parente to a feature of “Sesame Street” that had not been reconstructed: the chronically mood-disordered Oscar the Grouch. On the first episode, Oscar seems irredeemably miserable — hypersensitive, sarcastic, misanthropic. (Bert, too, is described as grouchy; none of the characters, in fact, is especially sunshiney except maybe Ernie, who also seems slow.) “We might not be able to create a character like Oscar now,” she said.

Snuffleupagus is visible only to Big Bird; since 1985, all the characters can see him, as Big Bird’s old protestations that he was not hallucinating came to seem a little creepy, not to mention somewhat strained. As for Cookie Monster, he can be seen in the old-school episodes in his former inglorious incarnation: a blue, googly-eyed cookievore with a signature gobble (“om nom nom nom”). Originally designed by Jim Henson for use in commercials for General Foods International and Frito-Lay, Cookie Monster was never a righteous figure. His controversial conversion to a more diverse diet wouldn’t come until 2005, and in the early seasons he comes across a Child’s First Addict.

The biggest surprise of the early episodes is the rural — agrarian, even — sequences. Episode 1 spends a stoned time warp in the company of backlighted cows, while they mill around and chew cud. This pastoral scene rolls to an industrial voiceover explaining dairy farms, and the sleepy chords of Joe Raposo’s aimless masterpiece, “Hey Cow, I See You Now.” Chewing the grass so green/Making the milk/Waiting for milking time/Waiting for giving time/Mmmmm.

Oh, what’s that? Right, the trance of early “Sesame Street” and its country-time sequences. In spite of the show’s devotion to its “target child,” the “4-year-old inner-city black youngster” (as The New York Times explained in 1979), the first episodes join kids cavorting in amber waves of grain — black children, mostly, who must be pressed into service as the face of America’s farms uniquely on “Sesame Street.”

In East Harlem and Bedford-Stuyvesant in 1978, 95 percent of households with kids ages 2 to 5 watched “Sesame Street.” The figure was even higher in Washington. Nationwide, though, the number wasn’t much lower, and was largely determined by the whims of the PBS affiliates: 80 percent in houses with young children. The so-called inner city became anywhere that “Sesame Street” played, because the Children’s Television Workshop declared the inner city not a grim sociological reality but a full-color fantasy — an eccentric scene, framed by a box and far removed from real farmland and city streets alike.

The concept of the “inner city” — or “slums,” as The Times bluntly put it in its first review of “Sesame Street” — was therefore transformed into a kind of Xanadu on the show: a bright, no-clouds, clear-air place where people bopped around with monsters and didn’t worry too much about money, cleanliness or projecting false cheer. The Upper West Side, hardly a burned-out ghetto, was said to be the model.

People on “Sesame Street” had limited possibilities and fixed identities, and (the best part) you weren’t expected to change much. The harshness of existence was a given, and no one was proposing that numbers and letters would lead you “out” of your inner city to Elysian suburbs. Instead, “Sesame Street” suggested that learning might merely make our days more bearable, more interesting, funnier. It encouraged us, above all, to be nice to our neighbors and to cultivate the safer pleasures that take the edge off — taking baths, eating cookies, reading. Don’t tell the kids.

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You know, it’s not often that I am at a loss for words. I guess right now I’m not so much at a loss as I am just short on words. There are some things that, no matter how much you like them, just don’t mix very well. In this case it would be country group Sugarland and R&B singer Beyonce. I enjoy both genres of music very much. I really like both of these artists, too. But, put the two together and all I can say is “Wow. Just wow.”

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I must be crazy! Okay, yeah, for years many people have told me that. But seriously, I did not believe it. After last night, I wonder why I doubted the masses for so long! Last night, that pre-pubescent phenomenom known as Hannah Montana blew into town.

 MM has not yet learned that she’s supposed to be a psycho crazed out fan of the bubble gum pop generation yet, but she does enjoy Hannah’s show. For those of you who have somehow escaped the craze, Hannah Montana is, in real life, the daughter of the famous (infamous??) crooner of our favorite song of all time - Achy Breaky Heart! Yup, you heard me correctly. Hannah Montana is Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter, Miley Cyrus. Somehow, they were able to convince Disney Channel to give her a show of her own. When I first heard the show was coming out I cringed in pain! Seriously folks, Billy Ray Cyrus?? I was just waiting to see a train wreck in action. But, surprisingly enough, the show is really good! Even good ole Billy Ray does a good job on the show.

The premise of the show is that Miley Stewart (played by Miley Cyrus) is super star Hannah Montana. She uses the stage name and wears a blonde wig to fool millions of people, including her own classmates, so that she can continue to live the normal life of a teenager. Only her two closest friends (one of whom is played by Emily Osment, younger sis to the “I see dead people” kid) know who she really is, and even they didn’t know in the beginning. Basically, Miley gets the “Best of Both Worlds”. Pretty clever, huh?

Well, Hannah Montana came to life to take her show on the road. The Best of Both Worlds Tour has sold out all over the place. People are filing lawsuits because they couldn’t get tickets (c’mon! Give me a friggin’ break!! Like this is something new?!?!?). Ridiculous parents are paying thousands of dollars for scalped tickets for their whining brats. OY!

Anyways, this mom paid face value for two tickets as MM’s 10th birthday present. We had pretty good seats and the show was decent enough - considering I was in an arena full of 1000s of screaming  squealing pre-pubescent (even pre-school!) girls for nearly 3 hours! I convinced MM that we could get HM t-shirts, posters, etc. at Wal-Mart or Target and not pay $30 each at the show. Meanwhile, you see parents walking around with armfuls of souvenirs as their kids talk to them as if they ruled the world. I could easily point out 100s of kids last night that needed a good butt whooping! As for the moms. Umm, yeah. No comment. Let’s just say in my shorts and t-shirt, I was severely underdressed (as far as style) yet also overdressed (as far as amount of skin showing)…for a freakin’ Hannah Montana Concert!!!!

All in all, however, the show was very entertaining. The Jonas Brothers opened for Hannah. I am not too familiar with them, but they did a pretty good opening set. Apparently, they are heartthrobs among the pre-teens and some teens. I don’t see it, but to each his (her) own. Hannah made her appearance and put on a good show. About halfway through, JB joined her on stage and performed a song together. She then went off to transform into Miley (Cyrus or Stewart, I’m not really sure) and the boys performed a slow song “for all the ladies” then finally got to the one song by them that I really know and enjoy - Year 3000:

Miley then came back and finished up her set. I don’t know which songs were which from her new and old album, but they all seemed very good. A number of people (inexperienced concert goers, I guess) left after her “final” song and missed her encore. It was a song she wrote about her “Pappy” (yes, I did say “Pappy”) who died a couple years ago. After that, it was a mad dash for the exit!

We were able to get to the car and out of the area in about 5 minutes. We made it home by 10:30 last night, but I feel as if I were out all night! Poor MM even reset her alarm this morning because she was so tired! But, it was well worth it to see her so happy and dancing and singing. Just don’t ask me to do it again! LOL

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OY! My head is pounding, my neck is one giant knot, and every thought that I have runs through my head in memorandum format!

But, I have completed one exercise out of the three that I have left. I am actually about halfway through the 2nd exercise. I just need a break for now.

Well, break over!

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It sounds kind of like the sound of someone smacking something, doesn’t it? “FAP!” That would be my head smacking the table. “FAP! FAP! FAP!” That would be my head smacking the table over and over again! Tell me once again, why did I ever want to become and Actuary? Seriously - give me one good reason! ARGH!

Sorry for the short post, but I have 3 “exercises” due by midnight, one week from Monday. Back to work for me!

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It would be nice to one day own a vacation home somewhere. I like to keep my mind open and think exotic. There are lots of advertising these days for vacation homes in the U.S. and I hear a lot about people owning vacation homes in Europe or the Caribbean, but I’d prefer to go somewhere different. A friend of mine from years ago was from Central America and she used to tell us how beautiful it is there. How wonderful would it be to own a vacation home somewhere like Nicaragua?

 It’s not as hard as you think. You can find a lot of information on land in Nicaragua if you’re really interested. It’s a country that is bordered by the Pacific Ocean to the west and the Caribbean Sea to the east. It’s tropical, like many warm weather destinations that people seek out for vacation homes. And, best of all, it has a lot of history and a rich culture to explore, so you will never run out of things to do if you want to get out and explore.

You don’t necessarily have to buy a property either. You could always choose a vacation rental so that you can explore many parts of the country. For instance, you could choose to vacation in San Juan del Sur, a fishing village on the Pacific coast of Southern Nicaragua on one visit and then find somewhere with a different pace the next time. The options are limitless!

Sponsored by http://www.c21sanjuan.com

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Sorry I have not kept everyone up to date on my progress so far, but I’m having a busy week!

Good news, though! I am down close to 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks! I know that it’s not going to keep up at that rate (at least it better not!) but it’s still a good start. I’ve cut out my bad snacking. I still snack, but on fruit and veggies now. I do have some sweet snacks for those cravings, but it’s the 100 calorie snack packs or fat free pudding.

I did have a challenge this week because we took MM to dinner for her birthday. The girl has expensive taste for a 10-year-old - she chose Bonefish. I did relatively well. I did enjoy the Saucy Shrimp appetizer. It lives up to it’s name because the shrimp are drowned in a rich cream sauce. I didn’t overdo it though. I also only had one slice of bread. My main course was the Pistachio-encrusted Rainbow Trout. I doubled up on veggies and had them put the sauce on the side. I ate all the veggies first, so I was relatively full by the time I got to the fish. Another good choice! YAY ME!! Dessert was my weak spot though. MM ordered Key Lime Pie, which I am physically incapable of passing up! I had about 3 or 4 bites. Yet, even with that night out, I still lost, so I’d say it was a success.

Eating out again tonight and then going to a friend’s tomorrow to hang out for a while, so I’m sure there will be challenges there, but I’m determined to be good! I can’t negate the progress I’ve made so far.

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I mentioned before that I am feeling (and looking) fat lately. Like I said, I was always the chubby one. A couple of years after MM was born, I finally decided to really do something about it. At that point, my little (4′11″) frame was up to 173 pounds! I had actually made it to the 190s while pregnant with MM. I went on Weight Watchers, took advantage of a free gym at my University and $10 personal trainer sessions from the Masters Physical Education students and I got myself down to about 120. Over the next few years I was up and down within a 10 pound range. I kept going to the gym, figured out I had learned to work the system too well with WW and went on Jenny Craig and even L.A. Weight Loss. I was down to about 115 at my lowest. But, a funny thing happens when you end up in a happy relationship — YOU GAIN WEIGHT! Okay, that’s not fair to blame it all on El Presidente. I am, after all, responsible for my own health.

So, this week, I went back on WW. Even though I still know how to “cheat” and stay within my points, I am vowing to be more honest with myself. Yes, I can have less for breakfast and lunch and still eat my ice cream sundae, but I’m not going to! Don’t get me wrong, I am not depriving myself. We still go up to the local pub and have a couple of beers during the week. I still have some sweets laying room to satisfy my craving. But, I am going back to counting my points and eating in moderation. I am not going to be giving into those temptations or eat for comfort. I will allow myself to slip up or leniency for things like Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, etc. but I won’t make excuses.

So far this week, I have done well. I am allowed 18 points per day (points are based on calorie, fat, and fiber content) plus 35 “flex” points to use (or not) during the week. I have only dipped into about 6 of my flex points in total since I started on Tuesday. I have allowed myself some beer and wine with a few meals, but I am accounting for them in my points. I have also cut out beef and pork from my diet again. I did it for a couple of years; not because I don’t think beef or pork are healthy, but I am not a big fan of either, so if I stick to my leaner turkey, chicken, and seafood, I’ll get my weight back down a bit faster.

I’m going to keep myself on track and accountable, mainly by broadcasting my success (and sometimes failure) here on my blog. Stay tuned. For now, it’s lunchtime!

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Okay, so I’m not talking about rain. But, I am talking about Spain.

It has been a while since I’ve been to Europe, and of the trips that I have taken there, I have never been to Spain. A while back, when my friend Jess and I discussed places we wanted to go together, Spain was tops on my list. Now that I am looking into vacations with El Presidente again, I am dreaming of Spain. I love touring old monuments, museums, ruins, and such when I go on vacation. It’s not all about laying around on the beach. I’ve found so many great places I’d like to visit. For instance, in Caceres, there’s Torre de Bujaco (Bujaco Tower), a 12th century Arab tower. Or there’s Muralla de Avila (Wall of Avila).  I want to be able to plan my trip out ahead of time and figure out which sites I want to visit and where I want to stay. I’m not interested in a group tour and it’s so easy to plan your own itinerary. All I had to do was search for hotels in Spain and I could easily find places to stay that are in or near the cities I want to visit.

On my last trip to Europe, we stayed in one central location and rented a car to tour other areas. Another thought is to stay at a hotel in Madrid and drive to Avila, Caceres, and other towns. I found this place that has nice looking rooms. That also puts us closer to all the wonderful attractions in Madrid. MM always loved to visit the castles on our other trips, so the Royal Palace in Madrid would be a great place for her. Just like other palaces in other major European countries, this one is actually still in use, though not as a residence. El Presidente is the one with a degree in history and a very deep mind, so I think he’d enjoy El Prado Museum with it’s extensive art collection; however it was originally built to be a science museum in the 17th century, so perhaps even my mathematical mind can find something there to keep me entertained. I’ve already scoped out the Botanical Gardens. The Gardens were originally the King’s botanical collection in the 18th century when botany was a royal hobby, but for the past 25 years, it has been a public garden.

If I can demonstrate self control and really save up, I’d love to make this a long trip and stay in Barcelona as well. It’s too far from Madrid to make it a day trip and there’s too much there to do for me to want to cheat myself out of a fair amount of time in that part of the country. One place that I’d love to see is the Temple de la Sagrada Familia. This great building began in 1882 when the first stone was laid. More than a century and a quarter later, the building is still a work in progress. Can you imagine?! Again, to please El Presidente, there’s the Gothic Quarter which has points of interest from the Roman Era all the way through the 20th Century. Oh, and we can’t forget shopping! The Boqueria Market has been around since 1200! Not only can I shop, but I can learn some history as well!

With all the sites we have to see, we may not spend much time at any hotel in Barcelona. Although, this one looks absolutely great!

sponsored by http://www.cheaperthanhotels.co.uk/Spain/

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