Life With Frenchie

EP was explaining to me that when you lose certain parts of your hearing, you “hear” a certain tone…or something like that. At any rate, I didn’t believe him because he’s not exactly known for being the most truthful person with his “facts”. I figured, let’s go to WebMD and see what it has to say about hearing loss. Our search didn’t turn up much of anything, so EP said to look up cilia, which he thought were the nerves in your ear. Um, yeah - turns out cilia are in your lungs. Not helping EP’s case much here. Since WebMD was not exactly giving us what we were looking for, we found a site that showed us the anatomy of the ear. We found all kinds of things that are inside your ear and each time we hit something we thought might be what EP was talking about. Finally, we landed on ossicles. Seemed like that might be close to what he was thinking.

Back to WebMD.

Type ossicles in the search box.

And this is what I got:

You say “Vajayjay” and I say “Vagina” …or would that be “Vulva”?

I’m still laughing!! I’m not quite sure what one has to do with the other, but it was an interesting read. Seriously, it talks about how the term “vajayjay” supposedly came about. Apparently it was on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy when Dr. Bailey was giving birth. I have watched that show maybe 2 times..ever….and that’s one of the 2 episodes I saw, but of course I don’t remember her saying it. So that leads me into another thought - is that really where the term first came about?? I know I’ve seen it used elsewhere, but I can’t say whether or not it was before or after that episode. I could easily look it up, but I’m so far off track from my original mission that I don’t need to be distracted any further!

Oh, and I still think EP’s full of it!

Stumble it!

Goth who walks fiancée on a leash is banned by bus driver who told him: ‘No dogs allowed’ By CHRIS BROOKE -

Given that she describes herself as a human pet – and is happy to walk around on a lead – Tasha Maltby is used to odd looks and even odder remarks.

But nothing had prepared her for the reaction of the bus driver who allegedly told the self-styled Goth and her boyfriend: “We don’t let freaks and dogs like you on.”

Miss Maltby and her fiance Dani Graves were so angered they have complained to the bus company of being “victimised”.

Going walkies: Dani Graves and girlfriend Tasha Maltby were allegedly barred from a bus

“It is definitely discrimination, almost like a hate crime,” 19-year-old Miss Maltby said yesterday.

The music technology student had this defence of her lifestyle.

“I am a pet, I generally act animal like and I lead a really easy life,” she said.

“I don’t cook or clean and I don’t go anywhere without Dani. It might seem strange but it makes us both happy. It’s my culture and my choice. It isn’t hurting anyone.”

The bus driver, however, has obviously not been listening.

He has repeatedly refused to allow Mr Graves, 25, and his “pet” on to his bus in Dewsbury, West Yorkshire.

Last month, with Miss Maltby on a leash as usual, the couple tried to board a bus at the bus station.

The driver, who was off duty, was standing near the door.

Mr Graves alleged: “He shoved me off the bus. He called us freaks and he called Tasha a dog.

“He said, ‘We don’t let freaks and dogs like you on’.

“He basically grabbed my T-shirt and slammed me backwards.

“I got a bit angry and called him a fascist pig.”

In a separate incident, police were called when the driver, who has not been named, refused to allow other passengers on board after the couple ignored his orders and sat down.

The couple, who live on benefits in a council house and plan to start a family, have been friends for years.

They started going out together in July and became engaged in November.

Paul Adcock, of bus company Arriva Yorkshire, said: “We take any allegations of discrimination seriously.

“Mr Graves has already contacted us directly and as soon as our investigation has concluded we will inform him of the outcome.”

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Apparently, Target’s ad execs are old farts who don’t really think things through when creating new campaigns or designing billboards. Either that, or they’re just as sick and twisted as most of us who look at this and think of just one thing! C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t see it!! This person certainly did:

Yup. we’re ready for it. Ready for everyone to tell us we’re reading way, way too much into this Target billboard that places a certain area of a woman’s body highly targeted by men right in the middle of its signature target logo. But you can’t tell us not a single soul at Target or its agency looked at this and didn’t see a certain interpretation that could be construed as objectifying to women. There’s just no way.
Would it have been that hard to place the image of the woman so her upper body was in the middle of the target rather than her…um…crotch? Seriously. Perhaps the initial concept had her playfully face down in a pile of snow emblazoned with her ass in the middle of the Target logo but someone at Target said, “We don’t do doggy style at our organization. Flip her over please.”

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I’m not such a huge fan of them. But, for the sake of fun, I don them once every few months. Last night was such an occasion.

After a very long day of photographer meetings, once we got home, EP walked the dogs, MM showered, I posted a quick blog (hey, I have my priorities in order!) and we were out the door to go bowling with the Girl Scout troop.

We have 11 girls in our troop and they have worked very hard all year long. Since the year started last October, they have raised quite a bit of money through various troop and council fundraisers, so we decided it was time for some fun. We paid for each of the girls’ shoes and bowling fees. Family and friends were invited to join us and any girl who joined our troop also had their way paid. We ended up with over 30 people last night! And, out of the 3 girls who came as friends, 2 of them are joining the troop, so we’re up to 13 girls!!! Thirteen girls, all ages 10 and 11…..Yes, I am crazy!

As for the bowling, my “skills” leave a lot to be desired. The last time I bowled was when the troop had a bowling day at the end of last year. I was pathetic that time … and that’s being generous! Last night, I got off to a good start. Less than halfway through our game, I was on pace to actually break 100! I know, that’s still a crappy score, but considering I usually don’t get anywhere near 100, this was huge! I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. Despite being in the lead and getting off to a good start, I finished the game at about 85. :hanging head in shame: We were also very slow, so we didn’t even get to finish the second game (we had the lanes for 2 hours).

Poor EP, he was worn out, so he didn’t even bowl. Actually, he didn’t even want to be there, but I guilted him into going. I know it wasn’t very fair, but I just really wanted him to be there with us. In the end, I think he had an alright time - hanging out and talking with the other parents (dads too, not just moms) and making fun of my lack of bowling skills.

At the end of the night, I’d say it was a success. A long, tiring one. But, a success, nonetheless.

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Report cards came home today! MM brought home straight A’s! :clap:

She had 1 A and the rest were B’s. We were just as proud of her then, but for her to bring her grades up like that shows a lot of hard work and effort.

Maybe she’ll get smrt enough so she can take my actuarial exams for me!

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Meh.

It was not all that great. I’m sitting here now and can’t hardly remember anyone from last night.

Oh wait, EP just reminded me about the guy who had never kissed a girl and he had the key on a chain around his neck and his father had the heart on the chain around his neck. Am I the only one who had flashes of a twisted perversion (as if the original isn’t creepy enough) of purity balls??? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with waiting until you’re married, but the necklaces are what made it just icky!

There was the girl who was able to pretty much imitate any singer out there. I was waiting for her to not be able to sing in her own voice, but she actually had her own talent! That was a pleasant surprise. We’ll keep an eye out on that one.

Other than that, there were the usual crazy folk and creeps who had “restraining order” written all over them, but nothing spectacular really.

Speaking of American Idol, MM got Jordin Sparks CD for Christmas. I’m about as thrilled about it as I am about last night’s episode. Nothing too thrilling. The current single, “Tattoo”, is catchy. But, the rest of the album is [Simon Cowell]forgettable[/Simon].

I hope there are better things to come. With the writers’ strike, there is nothing on tv! Thank God for mid-season starts - “Lost”.

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I love it when I find a great deal, even when grocery shopping. This evening, we were at Sweetbay and I had a coupon for tampons. Imagine my surprise when Tampax was on sale for $1.56 and I had a coupon for $0.50 off!!! They were being discontinued or something so this wasn’t going to happen again. It was such a good deal, I didn’t just buy 1 box - I bought 5! LOL By the time I found what I wanted, EP had moved on to find his bacon (it was on sale 2 for $4.00, that meant he was buying about 10!!!) so I had to walk around carrying 5 boxes of tampons and a bag of pads looking for the buggy. As I turn the corner, there’s this couple who were probably in their teens with one of their dads. They just looked at me like I had 2 heads and I could barely see over my stack! But hey, I got a great deal!!

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I was in and out of the room last night when the premiere episode was on and, apparently, I didn’t miss too much. Here are my thoughts on the few that stood out: 

Princess Leia - WTF??? The Wookie noises were great though!

Let My People Go - Just painful! Bless his heart!

Sparkly - You obviously forgot to refill your meds….

Other than that, not much to be excited about last night. Oh wait! How could I forget??? The Stalker song! Now that was hilarious! But seriously, can they issue a restraining order based on the audition? That guy was pure creepines!

Hopefully tonight will be better, both in terms of talent and freak-factor.

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You can’t go wrong with Olan Mills.

I’m going to have to go searching for my pictures now! Some good stuff!

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Oh wow! I can’t believe I forgot about this!! Last weekend, the office had a suite to the Ringling Bros. Circus so a very whiny enthusiastic EP and I packed MM and some friends into the car and headed off to the big city! I guess once you’re an adult, the circus loses most of its appeal and mystery. It has been a few years since I first took MM to the circus so the theme has changed. This year it was a theme that really hit home - something about being all about me! Anyways, the show was mildly amusing as the main clown was always causing the ringmaster grief. There was the usual parade of performers doing crazy things like hanging from extra-long scarves and twirling all about, the bottom of the circus totem pole circus performers — the dog trainers (what are they doing in a circus anyways??? they should be on Animal Planet), and the lady with the horses (really, does it take talent to get the horses to follow one another around an enclosed circle?).

There were still a few things that entertained me. For instance, the guys on the motorcycles in the metal ball. WOW! That just really amazes me. At one point, there were 7 motorcycles in there. I was literally covering my eyes with my hands and watching from between my fingers. When the motorcycles were stopping, it was so precise that they had to pick up their bikes and inch as close as possible to the other stopped bikes in the sphere. How do you even practice stuff like this? I mean, isn’t practice usually where you make your mistakes and learn and adjust? So how do you make a mistake when you have 7 motorcycles zipping around a, relatively, tiny sphere?

There were also the trapeze artists. Has the net gotten higher? Or the trapeze lower? It just doesn’t seem as huge as it did when I was younger. Granted, I was smaller (not much, but enough) then so things seemed so much bigger back then. Still, I feel like the trapeze used to be so much higher back then. Also, they didn’t do the usual taking away of the net. What’s up with that? I guess they figured traumatizing thousands of young kids, and several adults, when the circus performer goes splat is not so exciting. Just a thought.

By this point,  I was suffering from a terminal case of boredom! But, of course, we had to wait for the elephants! It’s pretty amazing how these giants can seem so gentle and “cute” when doing their thing in the circus. They paraded around, laid on their sides, climbed over each other, sat on each other, and walked in circles (why is it that elephants walking in circles is more entertaining than horses doing the same??). Nevertheless, I was glad it signaled the end of the show. I also don’t remember the circus being so incredibly long. I guess when you’re young and overly excited about things, time flies by. But when you’re *gulp* old and bored, things tend to drag on forever!

I guess my childhood is really over. I think this was the last year that I will see the circus.

Stumble it!