Actually, that’s where my mind went when I got an e-mail from Spirit Airlines that was titled “Return of the MILF Sale”
Seriously, someone actually approved this marketing campaign?? And since it’s the “return” this is not the first time they ran this campaign. Personally, I think it’s hilarious, but still a head shaker!
MM turned 10 last year, and has quickly embraced her double-digit status. She is very eager to learn all she can about what’s coming for her. A few years back, she “bought” The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls. It wasn’t very interesting to her when she first got it, but now she’s always reading it. It has a lot of information in there for a young girl entering adolescence. MM seems to be jumping in with both feet at light speed!
Aside from physical changes that have signaled her entry into adolescence, this weekend she asked me some questions which were 100% guarantees that she’s not so little anymore. We had breakfast together Sunday morning and she drew a picture of a leprachaun. When she was finished she asked “If the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, does that mean leprachauns are not real?” This line of questioning continued through Easter Bunny, Santa, etc. I asked her what she thought and she said “No, they’re not real,” to all of them. I figured she’d catch on but she still wanted me to say it, so I ‘fessed up to being all of those rolled into one. As sad as it is that she’s growing up, I’m jumping for joy that I don’t have to sneak around anymore to keep her fooled! YAY!!
But that wasn’t the end of it. It gets even better!
Last night, EP & I went grocery shopping and decided it was time we all started taking our vitamins. MM also is in need of calcium because she doesn’t like to drink milk. When we got home, EP tried to play on her fascination with entering adolescence. The conversation went something like this:
MM: Who are all these vitamins for?
EP: Those are for all of us. We need to start taking them to stay healthy. You also need to start drinking more milk. It’s very important that you get your calcium in because you’re about to enter adolescence and you need this stuff to make sure you grow and develop properly.
MM: “Adolescence”? What’s that?
EP: It’s what you’re always reading about in that book of yours?
MM: What book?
EP: The book that tells you about proper hygiene and skin care and stuff.
With MM being 10, it’s not often that something “cute and endearing” comes out of her mouth. It’s more “smart and sassy” and borderline “what did you just say?!?!?” But last night she had me laughing.
We’re sitting at the dinner table and EP was joking around with her and something was said about something being big. She automatically assumed we were teasing her about her J-Lo booty and she said “My butt’s not big! It just wants its own space!”
I was so excited about the deals I found at Ross & Marshall Friday that I forgot about the lady who looked like she might have wanted to kill me in Marshall!
While we were checking out at Ross, there were two ladies in there and one had her 3 little kids with her. The kids looked to all be under the age of 4. The scene was like something out of a sitcom because the mom and her friend were trying to wrangle up the kids the whole time while shopping and paying. You constantly heard their conversations interrupted by “Sweetie, don’t do that,” or “I told you to come out from there,” etc.
When we moved on to Marshall, and within a few minutes they were there. As I was finding my Polo shirts, the mom was about 3 rows away, in my direct line of sight. From the sounds of the conversation with her kids, one was crawling under and through the racks of clothing. As I looked up, there was another lady in the same aisle with her, pretty much next to the mom and kids. You could tell from the look on her face that she was not happy! I pray that she doesn’t have grandkids because she seemed more like the witch in Hansel & Gretel than a grandmother type. It got to the point where they needed to exchange places because the two were moving in opposite directions down the row.
At this point, I guess the kids were in the way because all I heard was mom saying “I’m sorry..” and she was very sweet and polite about it. It was not enough for the witch though because she just rolled her eyes and looked like she wanted to stick them all in her oven! I couldn’t help it, but I just started to laugh out loud and couldn’t stop. Well, that didnt’ make the witch any happier! She snapped her head up and shot evil looks in my direction. I gave her a polite smile and tried not to laugh anymore but it was too late. I just kept laughing and chuckling (I’m sure the people in my aisle thought I was off my meds!) and she kept formulating a recipe for my trip to her oven! I finally had to just walk away and continue my search later because I was afraid she was going to pull some Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon move and leap over the racks to get me!
I have never been quite as amused at the “suffering” of others before and apparently, the witch wasn’t as amused as I was. What a great shopping trip! Bargains and entertainment all in one trip!
EP & I got a rare Sunday evening alone today. This morning, I took MM to get her hair relaxed and trimmed (the first and last time I tried to put in a relaxer myself, MM had pigtails that were a full 4 inches different in lenght!!!) and on the way her friend called to ask if MM could spend the night. Heck yeah!!!
It was not all playtime after I dropped her off though. Ever since I moved in a year ago, we have had several large items in the garage that we needed to sell. This included a washer and dryer set. Today, I finally got around to putting an ad on Craig’s List for all the stuff. When we went in the garage to take pictures, we were in for quite a surprise.
I am known for hating to do laundry. Actually, I don’t mind sorting, washing, and drying. I do mind folding and putting away! Loads only leave the dryer when I need to use the dryer for another load. Loads only leave the baskets when I run out of room in the dryer and the hampers are full with dirty clothes. I just loathe folding and putting away. Especially the whites! There are thousands of socks to match and fold. How come I buy all the same socks, yet within 2 loads, none of them match anymore?? So, unless EP gets on my case, I have had times where I lived out of my dryer instead of using the perfectly good dresser and closet that I have. :blush:
Today, it became apparent just how much I hate putting away laundry. My washer and dryer have been in the garage for over a year now and when I opened the dryer to take a picture, there was a load of sheets in towels in there! EP had a good laugh at my expense. I must say, I was quite tickled myself. It took quite a while before I could stop laughing long enough to take the pictures!
Oh well, I’m washing that laundry now and it’s time to put it in the dryer…unless something’s already in there.
I found this while browsing around on The Knot, but it was too good to just put up on my wedding blog.
One of the things that I’ve learned about during the planning is that a lot of women have boudoir pictures done as surprise gifts for their fiances. I’ve seen some samples on photographer websites when trying to choose a photographer for our wedding, as well as women on The Knot who have shared their own. They have always been very tasteful and reveal just enough to keep the man in suspense…until now!
This is a real photographer and these are actual samples. Maybe these girls didn’t know any better, but this guy seriously ripped them off! But, as much as I feel sorry for the bad “deal” these women got, I can’t help but laughing to the point of crying when I look at these. Needless to say, this is not what I will be getting for EP!
My friend Colleen is the one who got me started blogging. She is this really cool, sassy, and HI-larious chick! I always find myself chuckling or shaking my head when I read her blog. In certain aspects, she’s so much like me in some ways, it’s scary. I guess that’s why I get so amused by her. But there was no way I was expecting what I read today on her blog! Actually, I had seen a hint of it in an earlier post of hers that left me scratching my head and getting a little scared, but I totally forgot about it and was just floored when I read this entry:
Alternate Title For Post: Why Colleen will always wash new clothes from now on.
Let me preface this by saying if you are:
Easily offended
Easily grossed out
Have a rotten sense of humor
Stop reading NOW and go elsewhere.
The rest of you still with me? Good…you’re going to enjoy this story! It all started a month ago, before my trip to Amsterdam. I decided to head to the after Christmas sale at the Old Navy in my town and get new pants for the trip. I found two pairs (same style, different colors) on sale and after trying on one pair, bought them and took them home.
I am not a “wash clothes before I wear them” type of person. Well, I am now, but I didn’t used to be that way. In fact, I’ve made fun of my husband on more than one occasion because he would wash brand new clothes that had obviously never even been tried on! I saw it a waste of time, especially when you could see the crease marks in a brand new shirt, or the pants still had the tages and size sticker attached.
So I head home from Old Navy with my new pairs of pants - the green pair I tried on in the store, and the brown pair in the same size that I didn’t try on. A few days later, I put the pants on so that I could head out. I had the pants on all of 10 minutes before deciding I should hit the toilet before leaving the house…just like I tell my kids, you always potty before you go out. As I sit down on the can, pants down around my knees, I noticed something odd in the crotch area of the inside of the pants……
From there, the story just gets funnier (grosser?? scarier??), but nonetheless, I was absolutely speechless! I can’t even imagine what the heck I’d do if that had happened to me! EP would probably still be laughing at me days later and I’d have developed something akin to a nervous twitch because I’d give an involuntary shudder everytime I thought about!! :shudder:
EP was explaining to me that when you lose certain parts of your hearing, you “hear” a certain tone…or something like that. At any rate, I didn’t believe him because he’s not exactly known for being the most truthful person with his “facts”. I figured, let’s go to WebMD and see what it has to say about hearing loss. Our search didn’t turn up much of anything, so EP said to look up cilia, which he thought were the nerves in your ear. Um, yeah - turns out cilia are in your lungs. Not helping EP’s case much here. Since WebMD was not exactly giving us what we were looking for, we found a site that showed us the anatomy of the ear. We found all kinds of things that are inside your ear and each time we hit something we thought might be what EP was talking about. Finally, we landed on ossicles. Seemed like that might be close to what he was thinking.
I’m still laughing!! I’m not quite sure what one has to do with the other, but it was an interesting read. Seriously, it talks about how the term “vajayjay” supposedly came about. Apparently it was on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy when Dr. Bailey was giving birth. I have watched that show maybe 2 times..ever….and that’s one of the 2 episodes I saw, but of course I don’t remember her saying it. So that leads me into another thought - is that really where the term first came about?? I know I’ve seen it used elsewhere, but I can’t say whether or not it was before or after that episode. I could easily look it up, but I’m so far off track from my original mission that I don’t need to be distracted any further!
Apparently, Target’s ad execs are old farts who don’t really think things through when creating new campaigns or designing billboards. Either that, or they’re just as sick and twisted as most of us who look at this and think of just one thing! C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t see it!! This person certainly did:
Yup. we’re ready for it. Ready for everyone to tell us we’re reading way, way too much into this Target billboard that places a certain area of a woman’s body highly targeted by men right in the middle of its signature target logo. But you can’t tell us not a single soul at Target or its agency looked at this and didn’t see a certain interpretation that could be construed as objectifying to women. There’s just no way.
Would it have been that hard to place the image of the woman so her upper body was in the middle of the target rather than her…um…crotch? Seriously. Perhaps the initial concept had her playfully face down in a pile of snow emblazoned with her ass in the middle of the Target logo but someone at Target said, “We don’t do doggy style at our organization. Flip her over please.”
Apparently, Target’s ad execs are old farts who don’t really think things through when creating new campaigns or designing billboards. Either that, or they’re just as sick and twisted as most of us who look at this and think of just one thing! C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t see it!! This 
